


maybe

by Lulannie



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulannie/pseuds/Lulannie
Summary: Some peace and privacy after a long week.
Relationships: Lucille Anderson/Valerie Dyer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	maybe

They said their goodnights as they left the dining table. They journeyed upstairs towards the room Valerie shared with Trixie. When Lucille stopped on one step to adjust her shoe, Valerie paused to wait for her, and they continued their ascent.

Usually, when the door clicked behind them, signalling that the world could cease to exist outside those four walls, they rushed together almost instantly. This new dynamic of their friendship was still young. They still took every safe moment in private to practice what they could not in public. They could hold each other closer, kiss, whisper sweet words that had a different weight behind closed doors. They could be flush, and come close to delving depths that they knew would change their relationship in a way that couldn't be undone.

But today, when the door clicked shut, they simply deflated.

The week had been hard. January was waning. The novelty of winter was gone but the hardships remained. The snow had melted, become slush and dry ice. The frigid temperatures had been unkind to would-be mothers.

They leaned their shoulders against the heavy wooden door, facing each other.

Phyllis was on call downstairs, with Sister Frances standing by to replace her if needed. Trixie was out for the evening with an old friend from school.

Lucille rested her head against the door. She looked up at Valerie through tired eyes. Valerie took a small step forward. She took Lucille's face in both her hands.

"Happy Saturday."

Lucille laughed tiredly. She pulled the hands down to reach up and take a pair of pins from Valerie's hair. She threaded a hand through it and Valerie melted into the comfort. Then she snapped to.

"Oh, stop," Valerie groaned. "It's dire for a wash."

"Hush."

"I'll hush once I'm out of these bloody clothes."

Valerie kicked off her work shoes and began to peel off her cardigan. Lucille smiled at her energy.

"I'm going to wash and get changed." Lucille looked Valerie in the eye. "I will be back."

She reached for the door handle.

"Lucille."

Valerie stepped forward, red cardigan held in the elbow of one pale arm. She cupped Lucille's face again and leaned in. The kiss was gentle but full of promises and things Valerie wished she could have said that week.

They pulled back. Lucille slipped out the door with a smile, doubly committed to return to this sanctuary as quickly as her nightly routine would allow.

As she organised her room and set out her clothes for the next day, she heard Valerie running water in the bathroom. Lucille washed once Valerie had left the bathroom, applying a little perfume even though the day was over.

She came back to find a wet-haired Valerie face-down on the bed in a matching set of pyjamas. Lucille tip-toed over. She rolled Valerie onto her side so she could fit beside her on the bed, making Valerie blink blearily.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"S'fine. I wasn't asleep."

"Of course not."

Dampness still clung to Valerie's eyelashes, darkening her eyes. The water had also revealed the bags below them, and the redness of her nervously-bitten lower lip. Lucille tucked some strands of wet hair behind Valerie's ear.

"You didn't need to wash your hair."

"I was embarrassed. Are you wearing perfume?"

"Come. We're getting under the covers before you freeze to death."

Valerie groaned as Lucille tapped her hip, signalling her to move. After some shuffling, they were under, nose-to-nose on the pillow. Lucille rested one arm over Valerie, trailing small shapes over the ridges at the top of her spine, and cradled her own cheek in the other hand. Valerie's arms were bent up against her chest as if she were defending herself in a boxing match.

Lucille giggled. When she wasn't working or eating, Valerie never seemed sure what to do with her hands.

"What?" Valerie whispered. Lucille smiled. With her free hand, she unfolded one of Valerie's fists and brought it down to her hip. Beneath the sheets, she felt the hand sit rigidly, then slowly relax, holding Lucille gently. Valerie laughed sheepishly at herself. Her eyes searched Lucille's face, moving slowly around her features.

"You're a marvel," she breathed.

Lucille returned her hand to the back of Valerie's neck and pulled her in. They kissed softly, again and again. Lucille felt a tongue against her lower lip and suddenly their mouths were open. Valerie moved her head to find Lucille at new angles, exploring her mouth like she wanted to commit it to memory forever. When Lucille pulled gently on the hair at the back of Valerie's head she sighed. She kissed Lucille once, firmly, then moved to her neck. One hand fisted in the soft material of Lucille's nightshirt, and in her bid to get closer Valerie slipped one leg between Lucille's.

Lucille breathed into Valerie's wet hair. Her hands relaying the energy that Valerie was breathing into her, exploring the collar of Valerie's pyjama shirt and the gap between the ridden-up shirt and her trousers.

Valerie came back to Lucille's face, kissing her again. Lucille used the movement to turn Valerie onto her back, Lucille propped above her. She kissed Valerie's mouth, her jaw, her throat. Her legs became tired of kneeling on the soft bed and in a moment the two were pressed together. Lucille laid a hand against the side of Valerie's rib and pushed up to kiss her again, but Valerie's hands came up to push her shoulders back.

"Hold on, Lucille," she huffed. Her eyes were dark, her cheeks stained.

Lucille paused.

"I want..." Valerie breathed. Her eyes flitted down to Lucille's lips. "I really want to-- want you to..."

She looked up at Lucille, begging her to understand.

"I really want it. But, I think I might fall asleep."

Lucille simply blinked. Valerie looked suddenly panicked.

"Not because I'm not excited! I am! It's just been such a long week. And when we-- I want it to be special. No, no. It'll always be special! I just want to be... On top form."

Lucille laughed. Valerie looked slightly less anxious.

"Precious, I'm in no hurry."

Valerie's eyes went soft. Her mouth curled like she was trying to stifle a smile. Lucille slipped down beside her on the bed. As her body touched the mattress, all her energy seemed to dissipate into the sheets.

"Sleep actually sounds like an excellent idea right now," said Lucille.

"I'm full of those," said Valerie. "Though, I would like to continue where we left off sometime soon."

"Likewise. But for now?"

"Sleep."

"Sleep. I shall go take advantage of the peace without Phyllis' snoring."

Lucille started to move out from under the covers.

"You could stay," said Valerie, as the warmth began to leak from the bed.

Lucille glanced over to Trixie's bed.

"No, I don't think I can."

She stood. Valerie squeezed her wrist gently.

"One day. Maybe."

Lucille looked at Valerie, her hair splayed over the pillow, curling a little as it dried, her eyes sleepy and kind.

"I hope so."

**Author's Note:**

> so many avenues for angst, and i care for none of them. thank you for reading.


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